ten on ten (march).

i know, i know, it's not the 10th. and i didn't even take any pics on monday. it will be a rare occasion to do this blog in its intended fashion. for now, it's a photo dump of my randoms that may or may not have made it onto IG & FB.

we dedicated our baby to The Lord. 

BFFs

also BFFs, it's really a one-sided relationship. 

"I've been wanting this since 2012!", a 'just because' present from nanny & pap. 

babies on the hips. 

i spy. 

minecraft-crafting. 

hand-holder/nurser/napper. 

the experts on baby gaming. 

advanced level ;)

9 months!

i can hardly believe how quickly these nine months have come and gone. just this week we passed st. jude on the way to her wellness exam, and i (as if on que) got teary thinking about the magic of birth, "that's the last time i cried, i was so happy to meet her" he says, "i think about it every time i drive by here." i crave that first week of her life often (so does my biological clock!), how much weeping and joy and pure adrenaline i ran on. everything was uncharted territory and mystical and perfect and brand spanking new in all ways, so of course i get all blubbery and sentimental every time i think about those early days. she is the perfect addition to our family, balancing out the rough housing and farting (soooo much farting!) with baby giggles and uber doses of sweetness.

at 9 months, she:

• is still the BIGGEST fan of "peek-a-boo".
• coming in at a close 2nd is the ABC song.
• standing up! up, down, up, down, up, down all day long. she's getting better and better everyday. she can balance hands-free, correct her wobbles and when she plops down she claps! 
• if you *rap* "bounce bounce ba-ba-ba-bounce bounce," she takes it as her que to dance.
• she's still our velcro baby, i wear her often around the house while cooking, folding laundry, doing dishes, or when we're out and about. 
• there's this immediate change in demeanor when she's outside, it's like magic out there in the sunshine. and she's just happy as a clam when daddy wears her on walks.
• "da-da" is her favorite word to say. and if she's froggy in the a.m. she will babble on and on just to hear how funny her voice sounds. 
• she refuses anything on a spoon. she's a big girl now and she wants to eat with her hands!
• brother's room is her favorite in the house, she oohs and ahhs every time we're in there.
• she is fascinated by the kitty, as if vivers is some majestic creature from a far off land. it's so comical, i MUST catch it on video.
• she will be our naked child once she can take master taking her clothes off, she is her happiest in the nude. 
• she knows what kisses are and will give you a big open mouth smacker. they are my favorite! right up there with baby hugs.
• she probably could wave... but we intercepted, we sing "rollin' with the hommies" - and now it's a wave with a wrist roll! 

she reaches for you, smiles with delight, lays her head on your shoulder, talks while everyone else is talking, gets excited for dance parties, chugs icy cold water, loves to snuggle, will laugh at your baby jokes, and uses her pointer-finger for everything.

i am so happy and in love. there's no tantrum a nap can't fix or any other game i'd rather be playing then picking up the toys she's tossing on the floor. happy nine-month's to our sweet sweet baby girl.

ten on ten (february).

we do make-up together every morning. (brush eater)

if you could have seen her face when brother came home, it was like Christmas morning times one thousand. (watching sesame street)

target trip with daddy. 

good night, sleep tight. (can she get any cuter?!)

and because those are the only photos i managed to snap (i suck at 10 on 10), let's see what else i can find on my most recent camera roll. 

i got to meet this handsome dude over the weekend. 

pets are protectors, and thus the cat can stay. 

playing dress up. 

zombieeee babyyyy. okay, it's just black berries. 

equally amused by zu-zu pets. 

my sweet sweet bundles of love. 

my motherhood.

we're coming up on nine months since our little babe came into our family and everyday i'm falling more and more in love. if you ask me how my baby is out of polite conversation, i'll go on and on about her newest achievements, show you pictures and makes you watch video after video, i'm THAT mom, i'm just absolutely crazy about her! i'm experiencing motherhood in a whole new way with audrey, but as much as she solidified my motherhood, i learned everything about being a mommy from raising our henry. it's crazy to think his teeny tiny one-and-a-half year old self, his drooly chin and big blonde curls and infatuation with jumping stole my heart so long ago. that for the last six years i've been his missy. tucking him in, and packing his lunches, and teaching him about God, and kissing his boo-boos, and being zebra, and nurturing him in our home. and i know he won't ever really understand how he transformed my heart, or the impact he's made on who i am, or that being his step-mama is my most greatest privilege. but i know, i will always know, that he is a part of me and i am a part of him and that he will always be my first baby.

we get to play witness to henry and audrey and the bond that they share, and it is hands down beyond our biggest blessing. audrey doesn't light up as bright, smile as big, or laugh as loud, as she does for her big brother. she is his biggest fan. and henry is just thee sweetest big brother, dotting on his sister, always expressing how much he loves her and how she's his "sweet baby girl". he is constantly holding her, carrying her around, teaching her about her toys and doing anything he can think of to get the toothiest grins outta her. he is her protector. their love for each other is as plain as day and as bright as the sun and i'm just beside myself so often with their sweetness.

with two, our home is louder and at times unruly, and always messy. everyday i remind myself to take a break from all my mom chores, to not let "no" be my go-to reaction when the baby is exploring, to not be in constant correction mode with henry. to stop, sit, and play. to kiss, hug, and affirm them often how absolutely wonderful they are. they are my pride and joy. and on the days it seems that nothing is getting done around the house, i'm a-okay with it, because my most important and hardest work can't be measured in to-do list form. i am teaching my tiny people the foundations of love and trust.

i adore motherhood, i adore step-motherhood, i love that no matter how unordinary our family dynamic is, our love is BIGGER. and it's ever growing.

we are so so rich ♥

sunday morning.

there's something powerful and intimate about spending the morning over coffee discussing where we see the Holy Spirit moving in our babies and how we might come up alongside and support that moving. time to reflect on the desires we want for their lives and moments of "a-ha" when we ponder what GOD desires for them.

our eyes and hearts are ever opening wider to our own thwarting and learning to use those redeeming moments to strengthen our faith, to take council with #1, to pause and take notice and respond with love. 

it was a perfect morning spent in His presence. there is more praying in our home, over our babies, over our meals, and in many silent moments throughout the day. He is blessing us and transforming what dwells inside, and we see it and feel it and praise Him for it. 

ten on ten (january).

daddy left kisses on our cheeks before our brains were awake or the sun thought to rise, and that is how girls weekend started. 

1. there was coffee and cake and chatting the morning away...

2. with our friends Sharon and Lilly Belle. 

3. campo house exclusive; "who's a big girl?"

4. the kitty is always interested in who's eating what, and the baby is always interested in the kitty. 

5. working on an inspiration board. saw this quote up on Sharon's wall, spoke so loudly to me I had to put it up somewhere I'd see it always. 

6. for dada, it's the first day of drill weekend and we already miss him!

7. this baby is hood. 

8. goodbye Christmas. 

9. all we ever want to do these days is stand. 

10. a gift from Sharon. she loves it (meeee too!). she let me read the whole book TWICE without trying to eat it. and she was pointing at all the things she liked. precious! 

bonus: 

because we miss brother too! AND he's a good aim. 

that's a wrap.

there is hope in the idea of a new year. a chance to start from scratch, right wrongs, do better and be better. new goals and a fresh set of eyes. i'm likely to still hit my snooze botton, still eat too many sweets, let the laundry pile high, run out of patience, nag my husband, forget to eat lunch, lock my keys in the house, etc.; my life will likely not get a mini-make-over overnight.

but there is something nostalgic about reflecting on the past, about looking fondly back over the last twelve months and noting the road we're traveling on. our family grew by +1, henry is learning the tough lessons of independence and responsibility, joey started logging EMT hours (inching him closer to paramedic school), and i got promoted to ma-ma. i see many days that could use a re-do, and many more i wish i could stop time and hit slow-mo. i'm challenged on the daily to be patient and sweet when i'm pulling out my hairs and screaming on the inside. i learned to pray - about everything, to let God dwell in all the places i'm urged to control, and more so where i have no control. i fell in love with my post-baby body and all its extra fluff. i realized there's a little crunchy-granola-mama-bear in me. my eyes have been opened to how supportive our family and friends are when we've been down on our luck and our ship is much too close to sinking. we've learned to say no to ourselves and our wants and even our needs just to get by. we've shed lots of tears praying as a couple, praying for our mistakes and shortcoming and seeking grace and protection. we've learned to take care of each other and what that looks like for each one of us. i've learned what tough feels like day in and day out, because that's what this year has been: tough. the most challenging year of struggles to date. so, as much as i love 2013 for blessing us with audrey and a love that gives and gives and gives and our little slice of sweet young family life, i'm very much looking forward to the hope that comes with "new".

for 2014, i won't set specific resolutions, i know myself all too well and a resolution is just hopeful thinking to me. i do have a goal that is very close to my heart though, as i know it will grow me for the better, and it's to make the extra effort, in everything. whatever that looks like; to get up on time, to return that text message, to be more thoughtful, to say "yes" more, to listen closer, to stay in the moment, to keep organized, to take care of myself, to let loose, to forgive, to give my best. it reaches and stretches to all facets of my life, home, family, friends, church, and work... i'm going to embrace the tired, cranky, and hard that's gonna come, and i'm gonna put all my extra hugs, affirmations, ya-hoo's, and just because's into it.

happy new year to you and yours too.