DYI! i swear i can sew.

i love all flags bunted!

and i thought, the idea of sewing fabric on card stock? sooo cute! and a cinch! ...right?? ugh, wrong.

what a mess!

tangled beyond repair.

well, not completely wrong. once i figured out what kept causing the bunching it was smooth sailin'. and i got to know my singer more intimately. i'll admit, i've sorta been a fly by the seat of your pants sew-er. only learning what i need to know to complete the project in front of me. i found buttons i didn't even know existed on this old gal! and thus adjusted the tension and stitch length and wah-la, this project went from disaster status, back to doable.

ah, much better.

after some technical miscommunication (why can't all computers talk to each other?!) and some font re-dos (darn you Word!) and dialing it in with the sewing machine, they are finally ready for send off! 

i love!

dyi, though ten times more time consuming, and sometimes the same cost of paying someone else (if not more), is always my favorite. because what started as an idea, became something created. something personal. and there's something so very satisfying in creating and crafting that has always been fulfilling for me, even with all the bumps and hiccups that come with it. ♥   

on the home front.

this time, a year and a month ago, we were sitting in my car on base going over last minute details, holding hands and kissing when the silence led on for too long.

my heart will never forget the prickles of pain, the brick like heaviness or claustrophobic tightness that came with kissing my husband goodbye. we had been preparing our lives for six months of separation, of ridiculous phone bills, odd hour skype dates, and living in different time zones half a world a way. 

to be on the other side; where last year i lost my husband for a spell, and this year we're bringing a new life into the world - it's rather mind boggling. and having him home, even as mundane as day in and day out can get, it is and will always be my heart's desire. 

but i know that sacrifice of time all too well it feels, and my heart breaks for my dear friends who are saying goodbye to their husbands. to the ones who have already left, and to the ones preparing to go here soon... you have my sincerest empathy.

to even attempt to recall the endless months. the depression, the tears, the late nights, the missed calls, the gaping hole inside, the single parent role. those are days that i don't wish on anyone. and though i know it best, that no body can fill a husband's time or shoes, i'm here for you just as you were all there for me. to help past the time. to laugh or cry you through whatever storms may come. 

to see you through, to the other side of time, when husbands hold their wives and daddies hold their babies and families are complete once again.

♥

deployment in photos: 

navy lego daddy.

good night kisses.

lunch dates.

family skypes.

daddy's sailor.

father's day abroad.

bulgaria.

birthday present secrets.

weekend routines.

home at last.

blood sugar.

common as it may be, it was still a bit of a scare. my first glucose test came back high and they called me in for the three hour test. my range of fears went from silly to scary.

silly: no more cake?! what about my fruit?! noooooooooo! *whines* i love my sweets. i've always been more of a craver of all things salty until this baby started growing. and now i only have eyes for sugar coated yummies.

scary: gestational diabetes = bigger babies = a likely c-section. and though i already fight through the waves of fear that come with giving birth, the thought of having her surgically removed scared me more.

the first hour was tolerable. i spent it in a recliner crafting away. the second hour felt tedious. the third hour i lost all composure and laid down on the couch with my feet propped up. a night of fasting, another sugary orange drink, four viles of blood, one sore arm and three long hours of waiting later, and i was a sickly sweaty mess. some lady even stopped me on the way to my car to ask if i was okay. my wobbly shuffling heavy breathing self musta given me away. i should have had joey drive me, but i swore i'd be okay. and i didn't want him to miss henry's poetry reading at school. i made it home by 11, pale as a sheet and hungry as a horse. note: asking a pregnant lady to fast should be illegal!

but i'm well. and baby is well. and we DON'T have gestational diabetes and we can keep eating our cakes and candies and fruits and such. no extra meds, no crazy diets, no added stresses and worries. and for that i am super thankful.

thank you for all the well wishes, we are beyond happy for the blessings of normalcy.

love-fest.

i love any excuse to celebrate love extra. to be a little extra mushy, a little extra sweeter, a little extra affectionate. it's double the lip smacks and bear hugs and thoughtfulness. forget the fancy dinners and sparkly presents - i've never really been that kinda gal. but when my boys shower me with sweet smelling flowers and even sweeter tasty candies and dotes of "i love yous", it turns me to putty.

they are my most favorite part of every day and i love celebrating our love, our family. extra!

 and the candy, i love the candy too ;)

pinch me.

this happens ALL the time. at least once a day...

i get my mind blown: there is a real life baby growing inside me.

not fictional, not hypothetical, not make-believe or futuristic. she's real. and she's right now. and i wonder when that reality is really going to hit me. like, really sink in...

she moves so much now. which makes it a bit more real (that and my giant bump, she's got the deluxe oven - the big fancy ones you see in mansions). but sometimes i catch myself going from "ohhh, my sweet baby" to "help! there's an alien inside me!" when she doesn't stop dancing and bouncing about. it's just so bizarre. all love-a-dove and miracles, but freaking bizarre too!

i'm pretty positive the coming weeks and months will just be endless days of what-if's and wonder. and the realness will finally come in the midst of my exhaustion and tears when she's lying on my chest. a little of me, and little of him, a little of her brother - in the flesh.

i'm okay with wonder for now. what she'll look like. what we'll name her. how she'll change our lives and shape our hearts.

but seriously. *pinch me* cause i still can't believe, after years of talking babies, that's THIS is the year it's happening for us.

i'm telling you, EVERYday, these thoughts boggle my brains (scrambled as they my be).

my favorite part of super bowl?!

the cuddlers! yummy snacks come in at a close second ;)

henry must have asked me at least 75 times sunday, if baby was awake. and when we sat down for the game, he spent almost all of it with his head on his baby sister, trying to listen for her. and sofa-lof, well, she just loves belly-buttons - especially when she gets to poke them :)

special thanks to my love-pie for capturing these tender moments ♥