these kinds of mornings.

it always ALWAYS starts with the pitter-pat of kitty feet. crawling all over us, licking our faces, acting very dog-ish.

followed by a sweet voice calling out for dear 'ol, "daaaaddddd... daaaaddddd..."

and then! it's family snuggle morning time. henry sandwiches. singing. forced kitty love. kisses. play biting. half-awake wrestling. tickling and against-will-laughing.

this is my thirty minutes of daily bliss. my very first moments of the day; before to-do lists and traffic and work and getting my family up and ready. it remedies any chance of waking up on "the wrong side".

mundane moments make the best moments for making memories.

morning mayhem full of love & sweetness & sarcasm & jokes & family.

rinse and repeat, for these kinds of mornings.

sleeping beauties.

our little family crawled into bed with our hot cocoa & popcorn to watch a christmas flick.

these two checked out for a visit to dreamy-land right as the grinch's heart started to grow.

aren't theses sleeping beauties precious?

joy.

there was something missing for a bit of a block of time; not missing in the sense that i couldn't find it; rather lacking use.

we all have our seasons...

when we don't listen closely; we're quick to speak, quicker to respond.

we're not as free to give of ourselves; generosity sometimes weights on circumstance.

we become selfish, in some instances knowingly; others we're blindly selfish, following our wants disguised as our needs.

and when things don't add up, when a part of your heart isn't filled up, when the seams start to stretch and snare under the weight of the thoughts you thought were just full of hot steam:

you reinforce your walls.

you don't cry out for help.

you don't bow down on your knees.

you don't pray.

you don't talk to God.

you work it out on your own.

i'm happy to say, this season has ended.

i stopped paving my walls with guilt-ridden thoughts, and they crumbled, just like that. all the hours of wasteful effort building them higher, and it took a split second. a milla-second.

in that moment of letting go, i let my God back in.

and i wept for how much i had missed His presence.

He filled me with a peace i will never find elsewhere, and a joy incomparable to anything on this earth.

my season of silence ran its course, and brought me right where i'm supposed to be: humbled, on my knees, praying, and full of His joy.

thank you God, for your mercy & grace.

"joy to the world the Lord has come!

let earth receive her King;

let every heart prepare Him room"

my latest sob story.

yes. sob. the sobbing has begun...

i'd stop it if i could, paint on my "brave" appearance, but it's rather automatic. the tears are wet on my cheeks before i even realize i've done it again. i've let the water-works stream down my face, run my mascara & soil my shirt.

a fact is a fact, and my fact is: these tears are inevitable, as they countdown to january 27th two thousand twelve.

he deploys, black sea rotation, tentative six months.

don't worry folks. he won't be in harms way (thank God!!!), but he will be away. and a wife without her husband? our family without its daddy? well, life just won't feel the same. and my throat starts to burn and my eyes start to prickle at the thought of daily life without him.

we've been here before, separated by distance for six months. and i have no doubt in my heart that we'll see this to the other side, once again. our marriage & family far out weigh the time and space to come. i know this to be true.

but i'm still going to cry. my heart is still going to ache. because it longs to be close to his, always. everyday. and my soul quite literally dreads the hundred-eighty days that i won't wake up to him every morning.

eeE. prickle. watery eyeballs. sob.

advice.

because advice shouldn't just be something said & heard, but lived & learned.

"people are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; forgive them anyway.

if you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.

if you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway.

if you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.

what you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.

if you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.

the good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.

give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; give the world the best you've got anyway.

you see, in the final analysis it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway."

heart? live this. learn this. until you stop beating.

thanksgiving, i apologize.

poor thanksgiving: super great holiday, indulges in delishious food, full of sentiments.

but let's face it, christmas is an attention whore, and well, if the stores can start the kick off early, i say, so can we! and thus, we followed suit.

so, i'm sorry thanksgiving, that you don't get the credit you deserve. however, i would like to point out that we have the harvest decor up in our home and it's all dedicated to you! that's gotta count for something right? some extra-scored points in thanksgiving's eyes? if thanksgiving had eyes... which is just plain strange to give it those characteristics. but alas! our home celebrates you!

knowing that, i hope you can forgive us for starting our christmas season early this year.

• elf on the shelf! why am i just learning about this tradition?! irrelevant i suppose. we have our elf, Theadore Zart Bigsby (it's a mouth full isn't it?), and come thanksgiving evening he shall begin his hiding and reporting. and holy-elf-man! have you seen all the creative ideas parents have come up with over the years (via the world wide web, or rather -> pinterest)? amazing. we simply can't wait! and neither can our little boy, we have read and re-read this book several times already. no good deed goes unseen.

• 2011 hand-painted christmas ornaments. yes! this is by far my favorite activity each year. and it goes hand in hand with unwrapping the ones of years past. as much as i fancy the chic ornaments and decor of department store trees, nothing nothing NOTHING! beats the mismatch of home-made memories dangling on the branches.

and so the pre-celebration begins. thanksgiving + christmas, it truly is the best time of year. when the heart is extra full of spirit and the ambiance under twinkling christmas lights is warmth for the soul. tis' the season to be thankful & giving.

first family pet. well, of the four legged kind.

we wanted a dog. like, SO BAD. but it's just not in our cards at the moment, mainly because our rental agreement CLEARLY and boldly states (in several places) a NO DOG policy. we even called to double check if they would reconsidered; nope, nada. made zilch progress in that area.

CATS ONLY.

i've never had a cat before. but i've met my fair share of evil, biting, pee-where-you-please, furniture ruining, skittish balls of shedding fur. not my idea of the kinda pet i wanted setting up camp in our home.

is there such thing as a sweet, affectionate, playful, sleep-on-your-feet, follow you around like a dog, lap cat?

i can dream right?

i LIKE dreams that come true. doesn't everybody?

we (joe & hens & me) spent our saturday meeting all kinds of kitties and cats that needed adopting. little ones, playful ones, old ones, sleepy ones, down right mad ones, and then... our dream cat, vivian!

talk about a lover!

interview, call, sign! and there we are driving home with our maow-ing kitty-cat with henry in the back seat full of reassurance, "it's okay vibian, we're almost home."

did you know there are like a million rules of how to help your new furry friend adapt to its new home & family? neither did i! but there are! and our dream cat? she didn't go through any of it. the second she stepped outta her kennel, she was simply home.

playful & cuddly & purrrfect! all my evil kitty fears have been laid to rest.

she so instantly is apart of our family. and strangely enough, in ways i thought a dog would be, not a cat. let the record show, i stand corrected.

what a ray of sunshine our newest addition to our family is. so much love!

p.s. fact! she plays fetch. fetch!!! she's a puppy in a kitty-cat body.

i'm sexy and i know it.

i don't know why, but every morning after my not-so-grueling-twenty-minute-shred-sesh i find myself tuning in to some morning hip-hop.

particularly this song:

(*disclaimer* don't watch if speedos make you squeamish)

LMFAO Sexy and I Know It <-- silly blog bugs. click me!

and let's be honest. hip-hop? totally and not really my scene. yet here i am, seat-belt dancing in rush hour traffic and lipping; "ahh, girl look at that body. girl look at that body. girl look at that body. i work out."

and you know what? it's outta my "bean-pushing-double-checking-numbers-are-my-friends" box.

and it feels gooooood.

#wigglewigglewiggle.

that is all.

moto.

it was saturday, the first (no, wait the second!) day in ohhh, i don't know, we'll say four months? that i actually lifted a weight, got sweaty, felt the burn, worked-it-out.

it's monday and i'm still burning! every step my thighs are full of prickly-pain. lifting my arms over my head? shoot. i almost needed help getting dressed this morning! ya see what i'm saying here? my muscles are sore. to the point that i'm getting funny looks while hobbling down the halls at work. when did i get so weak? my poor pitiful muscles.

welp, that little statement is on it's way out the door!

time to shape it up. thirty is not the age i pictured myself feeling old and frail (and i DO, feel old, feel frail). and if i'm being completely honest dusting off the "fat" jeans + eating my most favorite junk food dish - NACHOS! one to two times a week isn't really doing anything beneficial for my figure or self esteem. nor is spending 6 straight hours in bed watching the vampire diaries, but i'm not exactly ready to toss that one out the window ;). i have a vampire fetish that needs quenching, judge me, i've come to terms with it. closet sci-fi junkie.

fat jeans? i refuse to dust you off!

nachos? maybe not so often.

working out? i don't see it as a choice anymore... i can't. no really! if i do, i can sooo very easily talk myself into a nacho-couch-vampire-fat jeans kinda day.

plus! i have this hot husband spotting me on the weight bench. how's that for motivation? *rawr*

so, here's to 20 minutes a day (i'm a slow starter), spent doing a little something special for my bod.

SMILE! it's picture day!

i will laugh SO hard if this is the face he shoots the camera man today.

oh boy oh boy, are my boys... BOYS!

i am seriously out numbered by my boys. deprived of all things girly and subjected to all things boy, which includes, but not limited to:

• farts.
• burps.
• tron battles.
• sumo wrestling.
• name calling; fart-face, fart-brain, fart-butt, fart-head... you get the picture.
• hot wheels.
• bare-butt wagging.
• etc.

"boy" love, though, is quite the treat to receive. my boys made me this card sunday morning, and were so so so excited to give it to me. like wayyyy too excited. and this missy-miss knows when her boys are up to something...

totally sweet right?!

that's what i thought too. *heart melts*

"open it! open it!"

yep. that's my boys for ya <3.

they were soo tickled with their "sweet" card. so tickled. we all laughed till our bellies hurt, and then declared it fridge art.

boy love. it's amazing. i wouldn't trade it for anything. in the whole wide world.