*: a year of firsts!

for the longest time this date seemed far away, and now i feel i'm scrabbling to wrap my head around where the time went. a whole year!

you're so big and smart and funny, and 365 days ago you were teeny, we had just barely met, you had just barely came to be. *sigh* that first week was pure magic, and i was so amazed we made you and that i grew you and i would be your mom, for always. i thought i'd meet this big milestone with a hint of sadness, i just sincerely wish time could hold tight and let me soak in these moments a little longer. but i'm not sad, i'm so happy when i look at you, so proud of my big girl growing and thriving and just sweet as pie.

at one year old, you are:

hilarious! you always have us laughing. you'll climb up the pillows to the headboard and bang it against the wall and we'll call you "king of the bed." you kiss my belly and give me raspberries until you're outta breath and we'll say you miss your "home". you throw your head back in protest or double over on the spot when you have to wait even a second longer than you think you should and we can't help but smile because even in the midst of a tantrum you're ridiculously adorable. you give the sweetest open mouth kisses, lots for mommy and daddy and brother and your baby dolls... and your reflection in the dishwasher. and we all melt when you shyly lay your head on our shoulder. you are all about being in everybody's business, in brothers face, at my feet, chasing dad across the house, and pushing the kitty's buttons and I love that about you (mama's the same way). you are instantly amazed anytime i sing (others are instantly horrified, mind you), and it's my most favorite to hum twinkle twinkle and caress you and watch you fall fast asleep in the nook of my arms. you are obsessed with brushing your teeth, talking to Siri, standing in the fridge, and being outdoors. you point to EVERYTHING, and anything that goes in your mouth, first has to pass your "squeeze" test. you fake laugh when you see us laughing, you pinch my arm fat when you nurse, and you "pop your booty" when daddy sings the dance song. you've almost mastered how to get off the bed by yourself and the moment you turned one your handful of steps turned into waking all the way across the house, we fondly call you a "walker" (from TWD). you love to co-bathe and co-sleep and even though i can't remember what four consecutive hours of sleep feels like, i love it just as much. anytime we say, "i'm gonna get you!", you get ready for the chase, wound with smiles of anticipation. you are so sweet and cuddly and playful in the morning, and i'm always so sad to leave you. but the look on your face when i come through the door is priceless and the BEST EVER to come home to. you look all your stuffies in the face and then give them hugs and loves, you already want to do all the grown up stuff: real silverware, drinking out of a glass and taking a shower. you are clingy, and needy, and are very aware of what you want.

i clicked through every picture we took of you since birth (upwards of several thousand) and got to really take in how this last year has changed and shaped us. it's been rough and an adjustment and expensive, but 100 x's more, it's been BIG BIG love and bottomless joy, it's been growth and strength, it's been more prayers and laughter and added happiness. you fit perfectly into our family, you're just as silly and weird and affectionate as the rest of us and we revel in it. we love you, truly. and the love you give us, it's hands down the best love there is out there. happy happy birthday my sweet child, it is a gift to be your mommy.

.....

on your birthday we watched brother get his end of the year award and then played hookie and went to carbon canyon regional park, where it was deserted! we had full range to do and play however we liked. we picnic-ed and played on the swings and introduced you to the slide and let you walk and explore and you were just as happy as could be. it was prefect and intimate and we rounded out the day with songs of happy birthday and the best strawberry cupcakes i have ever tasted in my life.

the one posting the bunny ears, he's ours.