back to the grind.

so many of you have been so empathetic to my first week back to work, surprisingly though it hasn't been that bad at all. in fact, it could be much much harder than it has been.

don't get me wrong, i completely fell to pieces before i even made it out the front door on monday. and then again on tuesday, it's instant heartbreak leaving my little. 

but truly i am fortunate to have things fall into place the way they have for my first couple of weeks back. i'm only working a short six hours AND it's only monday, tuesday & thursday (heyyyooo!). and if that wasn't an easy enough schedule to ease back into the working world, joey has also brought our darlin' in each of those days on my lunch break so i can nurse and love on our wee baby child (we both need it!). 

so you see, it could be much much worse, i could be working a standard eight hours everyday + commute time. i could be leaving her with strangers i've only read reviews on at a daycare. i could be missing her and craving her all day long and only getting home in time to feed her and put her to bed. 

it isn't easy leaving her, but it could be much much worst. so i thank my lucky stars, my boss and my husband for babying me. <3

p.s. my boss is loving all the baby visits. 

p.p.s. our little is three months old! 

all the little ladies.

here's a little throw back to march and our belly bumps! i still can't believe the jackpot we hit, all getting knocked up together ;).

from left to right: jaye (due august), nichole (due july), dahlia (due june), and me (due may). all pregnant with little girls *swoon*  

it has been such an awesome experience being pregnant together and now being mommies together, because at last all the little ladies have been born into the world. 

first came our sweet babes...

audrey elizabeth - may 22nd. 

then came dahlia's little darling...

marcelene olivia - june 20th

next, nichole's pretty gal...

aria capri - june 28th (she came early!)

and then just last week jaye gave birth to her baby beauty...

ruby annalene - august 15th

i love all these little princesses, and their mommies too! audrey is so lucky to have all her baby besties to grow up with; to have endless playdates and life long friendships. 

audrey with marcelene, aria & ruby. 

what a journey we get to walk together with our sweet baby girls. tea parties and dress-up and tantrums and french braids and make believe and baby dolls and hair bows and endless hugs and kisses. 

baby shots.

ugh. i've been dreading this day. i suppose no mom looks forward to those doctor appointments that involve pricking baby thighs and making them squeal. we actually got to postpone it a month, but alas... couldn't avoid this day forever (well, i guess we could, but that's a whole other topic that unleashes an array of opinions).

happy & smiley! 

in all actuality, there was a minimal amount of tears shed today. i completely expected to fall apart myself, but she was such a trooper, and so mama was a trooper too. daddy held her legs, i held her arms and kissed her cheeks... the poke, the instant stillness of her whole self and then the red face and tears. i scooped her up before the doctor even got a chance to put on the bandaids! 

my sweet chubby thirteen pound love bucket and her sore little leggies. did i mention she's a wooping twelve weeks old already?!?!

and to calm her and envelop her in love and safety, we totally monaploized the room and had some comfort-food. (#normalizebreastfeeding) 

she was fast asleep before we even left the office. out of all the anticipated scenarios of this appointment, it went head and shoulders above what i had expected. this mama heart is thankful for that bit. 

the rest of our day went like this: 

chewing her sofie. 

fiddling with her hands (my favorite!). 

bath time (which she LOVES now). 

and here's brother, catching Z's at wal-mart.

P.S. their newest baby cousin was born today too, the beautiful miss ruby (just the sweetest name!), congrats jaye & steve & sofa-loaf!

breast-feeding.

i LOVE nursing my baby. it may not always be convenient: in the middle of the mall, in the middle of the night (duh!), the back of wal-mart, at every restaurant we've been to, in the wave pool at soak city, at church, at the park, in the parking lot, standing up... it gets interesting to say the least. it interrupts meals and movies and naps and phone calls and husband/wife time. it's a balancing act - trying not to flash the world, offend the nearest stranger and get my darling to latch, simultaneously. 

but no matter the disruption, interruption or inconvenience, i love it. it's priceless and it's just hers & mine. my moments to study her and groom her. to run my fingers through her hair. watch her fiddle with her hands or grab at my fingers. to stare down at her while she stares up at me (oh the wonder in those big baby blues!), to touch her tiny baby toes and pinch her chubby leg rolls. and when she loses her little baby mind, it calms her, soothes her and makes her feel safe. i'm her safety blanket (literally) and it's the most rewarding of mommy duties. right in the middle of routines and schedules and the hustle and bustle of each day, we break to feed, we break to bond. like life literally tells us mamas to stop, to slow down, to soak it up, because time speeds by and they grow up so quickly. 

i thought i would just be feeding my baby. but it's so much more, so very much more. *heart beam*

oh wait. there was that one twelve hour stint where i had a fever and rolling chills and thought i was going to diiiiie from the pain of nursing her. that was hell. but even then i was passing her all my fighting antibodies to help protect her (hello! amazing!), still though... it was hell.