but i can't talk about it. well, not with anyone but God, and boy oh boy is he hearing from me non-stop. like a buzz in his ear of long-winded prayers, set on repeat and full of genuine desperation.
not my will, but HIS, i remind myself. and simultaneously pleading the two match up. i wholeheartedly believe in the Lord's faithfulness, in his mercy and his glory. reminder no. 2, no matter the outcome: the stamping out of my life's biggest fear or it's heart-shattering reality, glory to God. and i shake and quiver under that promise.
my eyes open, my mouth shut, and my heart seeking God. that is my posture.
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