*sings* all i want for christmas...

how rare is it to loose BOTH front teeth right at christmas time?! okay, okay, i suppose it can't be too rare, considering there's a song just for it. i just remember as a child, wanting to sing that song about myself. i, however, did not get that stroke of luck. BUT i'm so very very giddy for henry! it was just two days ago that i sang "all i want for christmas is my one front tooth" all throughout dinner. it may or may-not have been a tad obnoxious ;) i just can't help my excitement for such a lucky line up. and now! today at school, that last little wiggle, and we can officially sing non-stop for the next five days. it's so classic. and when he grows older and looks back he'll have this silly and sweet memory of the christmas where we literally (lovingly)wore-out the song, signing it night and day to him. priceless. i love it!

a time of need.

this post isn't to air my own dirty laundry (although i certainly have my fair share), but just to express this overwhelming appreciation for the much needed help that has come our way lately.

it was maybe a month ago that my husband grabbed my hand, knelt down and led us in a prayer that had me crying out my nose, a prayer to meet our needs. and maybe i shouldn't be amazed, because i should just know HIS power, but every time, EVERY TIME, i am. i am so amazed to witness His handy work. i weep.

now, now with a baby on the way. now with the holidays under way. now is a very taxing time to be struggling. and though i can't recall a time when things were so tough, when money was so tight, i also can't remember a time when there was more joy in our hearts and love in our home.

and what a season to experience such contentment from within, a deeper gratitude for the gifts bestowed upon us, for the spirit of a giving heart and the celebration of our family and friends. i can't help but feel God at work in our hearts.

our time of need has also brought us great joy. and i just want to say a very heartfelt thank you to the family and friends who have given from a place of selflessness, of helpfulness, of love... your priceless gifts (whether you knew how needed they were or not) have helped keep us afloat, helped fulfill future needs for our bun in the oven, and helped meet basic daily needs, but mostly; touch our hearts in the most humblest of ways. you have shed light on our darkness, you have been the sweet souls God used to answers our prayers.

i'm a blubbering mess writing of our gratitude for you. you all know who you are. thank you, from the very bottom of our hearts for making our season merry and bright. we have been greatly blessed by you.

bows and curls and every shade of pink!

WE'RE HAVING A BABY GIRL!!! for now... let me explain. but first...

this thanksgiving was super extra special for me. i had all my parents and all my siblings all the long weekend while. since this almost never happens, i really wanted to take advantage of the opportunity and create something special. 

i just happened to be in my 14th week while everyone was in town and as it turns out, your 14th week is the absolute earliest an ultrasound can detect the gender. so with a giddiness, i made an appointment at one of those places our families could cozy up on the couch at and watch our little beh-beh on the big screen. i truly didn't expect to find out the sex, we really only made the appointment to share a moment with the dear souls we love most in this world. it was something my heart very much desired; to be surrounded by our loved ones and glimpse the new life we're bringing into this world. 

and i'll tell you, i'll never forget the tears *tearing up* that streamed down my face as i held my husband's hand and saw the most beautiful thing we could create bouncing and dancing around inside me. to look on and see my family oo-ing and aw-ing and baby sofie squealing with henry on the floor up front. those feelings, those images, those are the exact moments my heart hoped to treasure. 

*sigh* i'm so thankful for my family indulging us in such sentiments. their support and love and excitement fill me up with such a grateful and humble disposition. 

okay, so i said "for now" because, well, let's just say it was a hard call. our modest little babe would NOT uncross her (i'm calling her her, unless we hear differently) legs... stubborn and shy, sounds like a little lady to me! well, the way she was sitting on her feet, legs crossed so that feet AND knees blocked the goods, made it exceptionally challenging for the technician to get a clear view. and boy did that lady pull out all her tricks to get baby to comply (at the protest of my bladder!), she called in the other tech for a second opinion and they both concluded... BABY GIRL!

i called out to hens, who had told us on the drive over what he wanted:

me: what do you think henry? are you hoping for a baby brother or baby sister?
henry: brother!!
henry: wait! i want a baby sister, so i can beat up her boyfriends if they aren't nice...

joey and i couldn't stop smiling and laughing at his adorableness.

where was i? oh! so i called out to him... "henry, you're getting a baby sister!!" and forever ingrained in my heart is his smile and fist pump to the sky haha, he's going to be the apple of her eye. 

hugging, kissing, belly rubbing and many many tears followed... a baby girl... we're having a **baby girl!!! 

**for now. 

she has already stolen our hearts. you wanna see her?!

she totally has the "rock" nose!

a nice strong heart beat. 

she's so funny, she was just a wiggly-jiggly in there.

and when the lady poked her one too many times, she turned and looked right at us! *creepy* haha!

so they say... we have our anatomy scan with our dr. on the 21st to confirm.

p.s. if our baby girl magically turns into a baby boy, we'd be super-duper happy too. just praying for the blessing of a healthy baby; boy or girl. 

it's an extra magical season this year for our little family. add the holiday cheer and twinkly lights and i'm just bursting at the seams with joy, even more so now that morning sickness isn't plaguing me every hour of every day ;) 

spreading the news.

it was a sunday afternoon (september 16th to be exact) when we returned home from camping for the weekend and went straight to baby-test-taking-time! and that quickly turned to a second annnnddd third test and then to tears of joy and well, shock too! it had been less than a month since joey returned home from deployment; i swear he stepped off the plane, waved, and BAM! i had a baby in my belly! truth be told, we had planned to wait it out another year. but we all know how easily those "life-type" plans get rearranged. and truly, what an amazing blessing to rearrange those silly flimsy plans for.

after the tears died down and the shock wore off (scratch that! i'm still in shock EVERY DAY at the miracle growing inside me) we thought about how to share the special news with our family, after all they had been patiently waiting for years for this particular kind of news. 

first we told our henry. and since he is learning to read, we made him a little story, sat him down and had him read it to us. those sweet moments of anticipation as he realized what we were telling him... and the verdict?! a big thumbs up and then right back to a sword fight with daddy. ha! boys. :)

we invited joey's parents over for dinner and we surprised them with the news when joey prayed for our baby during grace. something extra sweet hearing your husband pray for the most precious gift.

for my mom, since she lives outta state, we mailed a picture of our positive test with a note saying we work extra fast ;) and congrats to being a grammy again! when she got it in the post, we had quite the cry-fest over the phone. 

for my parents we made a little onesie, put it in an unmarked bag and told them we brought them back something from vacation, hehe. 

we really enjoyed spreading the news, talking baby names, admitting fears and just sharing in the wonder to come.  

ode to husband.

i am floored by how much this man loves me. the lengths he goes to take care of me. and how absolutely blinded he must be when he tells me how beautiful i am with my hair sticking out all ten times of crazy, sans make-up and bundled up in over-sized sweat pants. but there's no denying that glint in his eye even when i'm feeling beat and looking like a fresh train wreck.

*sigh* that man.

he literally saves me on the daily.

pregnancy has not been kind to me. and when the nausea and fatigue came thundering through, he came to my rescue. cooking dinners (yak! chicken!), tackling laundry (every woman's dream), putting me to bed even before henry, keeping the kitchen stocked with foods that don't make me gag and flashing that reassuring smile any time i randomly burst into tears.

i've been suffering from migraines this last week. skull-splitting and relentless pounding pain day in and day out. and he is by far my saving grace - these nasty suckers incapacitate me. my mr mom / nurse of a husband sets me up with a bath, massages my aches for far beyond when his hands tire, and he's at my bedside rotating ice packs for heat packs while i'm desperately trying to catch z's. he's at 6 different stores looking for menthol sticks to rub on my temples. he even gave up his cuddle time to let me toss and turn in a bed to myself.

i thank my lucky stars for the way he so lovingly and faithfully cares for me. growing a baby really takes the umph outta you (i had sooo many mis-conceptions!) and i'm overwhelmed with grateful appreciation for my very best friend and all the thoughtful efforts he makes to keep me comfortable, healthy and happy.

he spoils me, he pampers me, he adores me.

it's really something sweet.  

extra extra thankful.

i'm extra over joyed. my family starts arriving in town today! eep! i've been acting like a weirdo all day - it's the form my excitement takes on, the anticipation makes me kooky.

my mama, my brother, my sissy and my nephew are almost here from utah. and then tomorrow, turkey day, my oldest brother and my niece and nephew (who i haven't seen since they were waist high) fly in from kansas. you know what this means?! i get to have my whole family under one roof, MY ROOF! my brothers, my sister, my (many many sets of) parents, plus all the significant others and offspring in tow. add husband and henry and it's a pretty big deal, as it rarely (if ever) happens. there's upwards of twenty-five of us, equally awesome and nutty, and i'm beaming to host us all at my very first thanksgiving feast.

let the belly rubbing, rough housing, extra hugging, food stuffing, finger pointing, story telling, crazy dysfunctional happiness begin!

extra extra thankful and beyond blessed for my dear family.

'tis the start of a beautiful & grateful holiday season.

back-bone.

me "lately", is not me "always". *noted*

as of late, i've been moody, tired, boarder-line antagonistic, but mostly matter-of-fact. some would say i've grown a back-bone in the midst of those not so positive qualities. actually, some have said it. 

looky here, i'm standing up for... for, things i use to feel pressured to budge on! a rare occasion in the face of a people-pleaser. 

as of late, i care less of how my words may be interpreted and more that they finally just make it out of my mouth. i have a voice! i have an objecting opinion! i, no longer, have a problem sharing it (my huge life-long feat). 

as of late, i'm looking less outwardly, and more at the balance inside my home; the most important balancing act in my bubble of a world. 

as of late, i just don't gave (as much) a damn. there. i said it. mind you, these are things i never should have put much weight into from the get go.

these feelings are new to me. i'm a huge softy! i suspect when this cool exterior has a seat at the foot of a warm winter fire, my "as of late's" will most likely melt and morph into a new "lately" (and possibly another blog?? something with a mushy-gushy feel??).

it's a surge. it's probably also a mixture composed partly with pride (darn you pride). i might look back and say, "wow, that was some soap box i was standing on." i might. or i might finally be seeing straight, with my own two eyes. it's too early to tell.

what i am certain of, is my wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve self is having a very healthy, over due growth spurt at the ripe age of thirty-one.