six weeks.

oh my love. every selfish fear i had before audrey's birth got pushed right out of my heart the second they placed her on my chest. that first week i found myself repeatedly staring at her and weeping joy. she's so perfect, she's true love, she's the most beautiful baby i've laid eyes on. we are totally and completely smitten with our little bundle. life has only gotten fuller since her arrival, longer days, longer nights and tears of exhaustion and frustration. but wow, what a glorious high, what a soaring love to keep a mama moving when her body and mind are ready to quit.

she is my velcro baby, always in mama's arms, dada's arms, or grammy's arms... and when the arms give out, i sling her to me. she needs the nearness of a warm body or she's restless. she's got high needs, so if you sit she'll know, if you stop bouncing, rocking, swaying, walking, dancing, she'll know and she'll fuss till you're on the move again. she grunts when she poos, she squeaks (my favorite!) when she sleeps, and she's a messy eater. she lights up at brother's voice, smiles through daddy's tickle-y mustache kisses and mommy's silly songs about the bad wittle kiddy cat. 

people say to soak it up because it passes so quickly. they speak the truth. she's six weeks today and already she's such a different baby from the first day we brought her home. she's lost that bloated swollen hours old look and the newborn wrinkles that followed and now is quickly packing on the chubby baby rolls *pinchy pinchy*. time is a funny thing, and maybe because they grow and change so much from day to day and week to week that time feels almost tangible. but you can't stop time or stretch out a moment no matter how hard you try, and for that simple reason i now have a gazillion pictures and videos to help us remember just how itty bitty brand new she was... before i blink and six months have ticked by. 

i still can't believe i made her. i can't believe the baby we dreamed up over the last four years is finally here. she's everything i've ever wanted, but not at all how i imaged her to be. i can't kiss her or hug her or tell her i love her enough.